In my last blog I mentioned that recently there was an
advertisement in our local newspaper. The call was for “the worst drivers on
the Island” to self-nominate for a new reality TV show. A short list of the
“successful” candidates would be compiled and those people would be called in
for an interview. No doubt the interview would look for more than simple bad
driving skills – reality TV tends to want exaggerated representative versions
of modern society.
This morning I received an e-mail from my friend, whom I
call CTV. He’s not a reality show. The name reflects his passion – he is the
Charlottetown Traffic Vigilante.
CTV wrote the following:
Hey, did you see that ad in the paper – they want the worst
drivers to be on TV! Why are they wasting money interviewing? I can give them a
list right now. It’s kind of like that fellow on TV – here’s my Top 10 “Worst
drivers I’ve seen in Charlottetown over the last 4 days” list.
10. The lady in the white Chevy Blazer, registration X?*25 …
when it says “No parking – Fire Lane” outside the CIBC on University, it means
everybody, not everybody except you!
9. The ding dong who drives a blue Ravi, T?*69, when you’re
turning on to North River Road during rush hour you should wait for a gap
that’s larger than a car length, not accelerate out and hope everyone else will
stop.
8. The lady in the grey Tundra R?*252 – I know it makes an
annoying clicking noise and the little flashing light on the dashboard can be a
distraction, but the indicator really helps instead of just slowing down and
turning left across the street.
7. The guy with the Dodge van, U?*54, the reason it says
“right turn only” as you leave Shoppers on university is because then you don’t
have to sit there holding up everyone behind you as you wait to try and cross 4
lanes of traffic so you can turn left.
6. The lady in the black Ion, U?*74, that middle colour on a
traffic light is yellow and when you see it you are supposed to stop, it
doesn’t mean you should accelerate across Capital Drive up by the Mounties and
hope the person turning right on to Maypoint will slam on his brakes and stop
for you.
5. The person who drives the blue Dodge Caravan Y?*39, what
possessed you to simply stop on University Avenue down by Beanz to drop off a
passenger, and then talk to him through the window for 4.5 minutes while cars
piled up behind you?
4. Mr Pizza delivery person in the grey Chevy Cavalier
R?*05, the letters on that big red sign at the corner spell out S T O P not “slow down a little bit”.
3. The car transport driver who was bringing the lady’s van
to her home on Allen, why park parallel to the curb when you can back into her
driveway and then pull forward so your flatbed is completing blocking the road
while you unload her van off the back?
2. The two young men in the grey Santa Fe, T?*06, the reason
the sign says “40” is because Parkside Drive is a residential street not a drag
racing track.
And the winner is …
1. The person who parked the blue Sunfire Y?*36 not only on
the cross-hatched lines but right underneath the “No Parking” sign outside the
Bank of Montreal on Grafton …
Cheers, CTV.
PS I wish the reality TV show people all the best in their
selection process.
So there you have it. A brief indication of what one person
observed over a four day period in one small city on the Gentle Island. And
don’t get me going about the tractors on the highway, or the potato trucks
leaving 6 inches of red mud everywhere, or the Road Traffic Stop Sign Guy who
suddenly turned around, put his sign over his shoulder and started walking away
from the line of cars that had been stopped by his sign, leaving them unsure
whether or not to go and then further confusing the issue by twirling his sign so
it kept switching between ‘stop’ and ‘drive slowly’ and people were stuttering
and shuddering all the way up the road. But that’s not really a driver story,
so I’ll leave that for another blog.
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